A secret crush
by rachel132
Summary: A one shot about Sirius and OC. quite reflective.


**Disclaimer:** I've mentioned, what, 2 names from the books like twice but never the less. I own nothing!!

**A/N:** sorry if anyone thinks I've spelt things wrong but hey, English people spell things differently. The story's a bit different from anything I've ever written (or read) before so please let me know what you think. Also is a one-shot. Sorry but I have no idea where this could go from here – that doesn't mean you don't have to review though!

**A secret crush**

When I first saw him did I like him? Yeah, but as a friend. I mean – sure he was cute but I'd only just met him. When we were having lunch with Lily and Zoë I thought he was funny and a really nice guy, but that was it.

I used to look forward to us all going to have lunch every Friday – the food was nice, the place was great and the company was terrific, we all got on really well. And that's when things started to get complicated.

Everyone knew that he fancied Zoë – it was common knowledge. He asked her to the cinema and the end of year ball and she went but she insisted as 'friends only,' – and she really meant it.

Eventually he got the idea and so they carried on being friends as before – like nothing had happened. There was no awkwardness or anything and all was good and normal.

Except. Well, except for the slight possibility that I was starting to develop a bit of a crush on him - and it didn't really stop, which was NOT good.

At Lily's birthday party he found a new friend in my digital camera – he was really into gadgets and stuff – and between the two of us we took sooooo many pictures that night. Even if he did like taking pictures of himself more than anything!

We got pretty drunk that night – and despite the fact that I'm usually dancing _all the time_, I didn't much due to the quantity of alcohol consumed and the fact that I was spending time with Sirius.

So me and him spent most of the night talking. And I always noticed each time one of us accidentally brushed or swayed against each other. I'd start to tingle and little â€ and then scold myself for being stupid and then go and get another glass of water in an attempt to sober up.

When he left that night I started dancing again. And when another gut asked me to dance I said no. Looking back, in hindsight as it were, I wonder why I didn't say yes. I was dancing anyway and it would have been my first dance with a guy. If I'd danced with this other guy then, now I wouldn't have Sirius stuck in my head so much now!

The next time I saw him was at Phine's party during the holidays. Again we ended up taking a load of photos, but this time we didn't drink so much. Despite this there were more photos of us together. I definitely liked those. He was a true gentleman tonight and walked my home, even if it was with a bunch of other girls. Now I really, 100, knew that I fancied him.

But yet, during our conversation that night he talked to me about another girl that he didn't known had fancied him (ironically really). He said that he didn't understand why she didn't tell him. He said that if he fancied someone he would just come straight out and say it – 'I fancy you.'

That there would have been the perfect moment – hell, any moment would have been the perfect moment for him to say it. Say it to me. Who am I kidding?

I can't help but think about that moment – if he had said that to me and then leant in for a kiss. It would have been my first kiss and would have saved me from my unwilling and involuntary chaste state I am in.

But it didn't happen.

Maybe I should have told him – but I've never done anything like that before and also if he didn't say that to me what's the point? He can't like me back.

And now I can't stop thinking about him – I keep going to where he works to see if I can catch a glimpse of him. It doesn't help that everyone knows I fancy him and they keep looking at photos and saying what a sweet couple we'd make or how we have so much in common either! So seriously, anyone out there. How can I get this guy out of my head? How can I stop fantasising about something I just can't have? I keep reminding myself that the feelings I have towards him are unrequited but I still end up smiling every time I hear his name as my insides knot.

I've never felt like this before and I don't know what to do. So tell me, what can I do?

**A/N:** So I know this is a very short one-shot but I felt the urge to do it. Please read and review – I'd love to know what you think. Also if anyone does have any suggestions as to what they think the girl should do I'd be delighted to hear them – what would you do if you were in the girls shoes??


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